The honeymoon phase can be the best time to understand gentleness during a conflict? Charlie Simpson with the Arkansas Relationship Counseling Center is here to provide tips on how to manage conflicts with understanding.

Why are conflicts so difficult to manage?

One component is the lack of understanding how conflicts go wrong. You know if I get lost driving I can go to google maps and get a step by step direction on where to go. During conflicts, a lot of people do not understand why the conversation is going wrong. By understanding what we call the four horsemen, which research has shown to be the biggest predictors of divorce, a couple can begin to communicate differently. Matter of fact, researchers can predict with 96% accuracy within the first three minutes of a couple’s conflict whether the relationship will survive based the horseman’s interjections. Below, we will listen to a few ways a conflict begins and determine whether you can determine whether it will go in the right direction. (anchor will answer whether the sentence is a good way to start a conflict or bad)

· “You always try to control me. You are just like your dad.”-criticism

· “(loud sigh) I’m good”-stonewalling

· “I’m so confused, I don’t understand why you would do that”-gentle startup

· “I feel so hurt right now and just need you to step away”