Building Relationships: When you are truly sorry

Good Day

It’s inevitable- at some point you will disappoint your partner. But sometimes… It hurts. We make decisions that are selfish or inconsiderate. We do things that we never thought we would do. How do we show we are truly sorry for the pain we’ve caused?

There are 3 major components- Validation, Empathy, & Compassion

Validation- refers to your ability to acknowledge how they feel.
What you did hurt- it’s not about whether you intended to hurt them or not- it’s about what you did and how it made them feel.
Take ownership- “I did XYZ and I see how that made you feel.”

Empathy- refers to your ability to see it from their perspective and actually put yourself in their shoes.
It means YOU feel what THEY feel.
It’s not about how you think they should feel or how “they shouldn’t feel that way.”
Compassion- when you “feel” your partner’s hurt AND you show a desire to help.
“I hurt you, I’m sorry. How can I help?”
Your desire to help can make a huge difference.
Validation, Empathy, and Compassion NOT Sympathy.
You’re not “feeling sorry for them” but actually taking ownership for your part in causing their pain. When you can see from their perspective, feel their pain, genuinely apologize, and ask how you can help- this paves the way for true forgiveness.

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