Building Relationships: Your money, my money-whose money is it anyway?

Good Day

Managing money can be challenging for some- even more challenging for couples.

Although income gaps, unequal financial responsibilities, imbalanced spending habits are common, couples shouldn’t let money come between them.

Look for the signs:

  1. Fear of disapproval-
    1. When partners constantly find themselves justifying purchases to each other, or arguing over whether a certain purchase is worth it or not,
  2. Power struggles-
    1. When there is no balance in power- one partner may reign over the bank account like royalty
  3. Selfish spending-
    1. When one partner feels more ownership and feels they can spend their money as they please without considering the other’s needs, wants, or feelings
  4. Growing Resentment-
    1. The partner earning more might feel resentment from having to shoulder the majority of the financial burden. The lower earning partner might end up resenting their partner’s success or the demands of their career.
  5. Keeping secrets-
    1. Financial infidelity- withholding information from or lying about money to one’s partner. It can involve hiding spending, secret bank accounts, stashing cash, incurring debts, or making financial decisions without a partner’s knowledge. Financial infidelity is a breach of trust.

Money is a big part of sharing your life with someone,  But if you’re not able to talk about it—this could signal deeper issues in your relationship.

Best practices:

  • Keep spending habits out in the open
  • Work on a budget- designate a purpose for every dollar- even allowances
  • Discuss your lifestyle choices- how you want to spend your money vs what’s required
  • Keep at least 1 joint account- designate what it’s for
  • Percentages are your best friend- everybody wins!

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